Trauma, drama, tired momma

Oh my word. Yesterday should have been skipped. Spent all day in pj's in bed. Buffered by lots of chocolate :(

I got to work at 8:45 yesterday and Wildchild was already calling me. I answered and he was all uspet, voice shaking telling me that the kitten got ran over but wasn't dead. What followed was horrible for the, horrible for me not being able to be there to shield them from this sort of thing, Lovey called me at one point sobbing that he couldn't take listening to it anymore. I knew how he felt, hearing their hurt and not being able to 'fix' it :( I called anyone I could think of that might be able to go help the kids deal with this SOMEhow but couldn't get anyone. Finally Jordan went and got the older man neighbor, who offered take the kitten to the vet in his words 'to be put to sleep', so I knew then it was as bad as the kids were thinking. Well the neighbor went home to get his wife and car and the kitten died within the 5 min. or so it took him to get back. Almost 2 hours though of him suffering, the kids suffering, me suffering. It was horrific. The kids opted to bury him themselves, the neighbor offered. The kids had a little service, they all said a prayer. (aw) I know stuff like this is real life and ugly and messy but darn, this is MY job to shelter them from the ugliness. I feel horribly guilty, and guilt is not an emotion I cater to very often.

So that was yesterday. Thank God its not yesterday anymore. Amen. xoxo melzie

**updated to add, I DREAMED of the kitten last night, bloody, wallering around meowing, and I was the only one in my dream that could see it. Great I am now being haunted. :(

back to blogging just to complain

:( I had a horrible day. First off my kitten Rowdyboy is very sick. (prayers please). Lethargic wont eat drink hardly etc. SO I was hurrying home from the kids' pediatrician (medicine for ADHD appt) to catch hubby on his lunch break with a phone call to see if it would be ok (money wise) to take him to the vet WHEN I got PULLED OVER by a state trooper and slapped with a $133 ticket (73mph in a 55 zone) :( So I called hubby CRYING and asked if I could take the cat (we dont have the money for either honestly) and first he said no so I cried harder and said ok if you tell me no I wont then he said JUST TAKE HIM ITS NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE so thats a darned if I do darned if I dont type comment kwim? SO now Rowdyboy is at the vets. Who stinkin KNOWS how much the bill will be? They took a fecal and nothing showed up there, they palpated (sp) his belly a bunch and said it didnt seem urinary. Took blood and his temp, and he had 105* fever (over 103 is fever they said) and his platelets are low. Normal would be 300 his was 90. The feline leukemia was negative. So he is there, on iv and antibiotics and they will monitor his urine and feces and check his gums I think they said? Any ideas? Anyways, I've been halfheartedly job hunting but I guess I will step that up as hubby's truck needs liscensed and taxes paid on it, house insurance for the year is due this month, its baseball signup time, and on and on and on. I am also pretty sure I'll be shelving the idea of school for now (not related to ticket/cat incident) but not forever. Any prayers or positive thoughts you can direct my way I would greatly appreciate. xoxo melzie