Mid-summertime

Well Baby Girl went home yesterday :( She was here 4 wks this time, she stays longer each summer. I cried when she left and told Hubby I do NOT know how people do it with their real kids, how they can divorce and let one move off and only see them in summer or whatever its just unfathomable to me. I know there ARE necessary instances but it seems like you are trading in one kind of misery for another to have to be apart from your kids. Anyway..

Today I start my new job and I am not all that enthused about that either. Hawger's tonsillectomy is Wed., Bible school has started locally, I will get home as they are leaving or left already for Bible school. I work Mon. and Tues. 9-5 or 5:30 not sure. So this whole week feels to be starting off on the wrong foot. I really felt like when I quit my job that I was doing the right thing for my family, and I *thought* that this job was a good trade in, staying home mostly for my family but still getting out and being an adult a day or two a week. Now its feeling not so much that good..but more like a "I am putting my selfish desires above my family" and I am tired of feeling that way. I use to have such a strong conviction to be a SAHM and Hubby felt that way too, I really don't know when or how that got so muddied up into being such an issue. Sigh. That combined with the fact that I am so nervous of Hawger getting this done, and Hubby can't take off work to go with me, blah just feeling very unsure about everything. Again..how DO single parents do these things?! And I WAS a single parent for almost 5 yrs, too long ago and far away I guess.

So please pray for Hawger this week, for melzie this week, and I hope you HAVE a good week :) xoxo melzie